What's a Meta-Phor, Anyway?

       "In a blinding flash, his eyes locked with hers."

       Of course it was blinding. How can anyone see with his eyes mechanically affixed to another person's eyes? Did you ever wonder how or where the key is inserted to get all those eyes unlocked?

       "His hands wandered beneath her bodice."

       Did somebody call 911? Without his hand at the end of his arm, he's got to be bleeding profusely.

       These are just two examples of how authors can misuse imagery 'in their writing. I know. I'm as guilty of getting carried away by my creativity as the next author. You should see the pictures that one of my critique partners draws whenever she finds wandering body parts like that in the second example. The problem is, that what many see as a misused metaphor is just as easily perceived as an error in reading.

       Eyes that lock, meet, clash, flash et cetera have been doing so for centuries. The same is true of tongues that mate, cheeks that flame, arms and heads that are thrown, legs that fly and so on. Storytellers like Chaucer, Ovid, Austen, Hemingway and others have been using metaphors in their various forms since before writing was invented. And audiences have not only understood the images, but also enjoyed the same stories over and over again because of the sparkle and magic that metaphor adds. Am I suggesting that you throw caution and discretion to the metaphorical wind and embark on a figurative orgy in your writing? Absolutely not. Metaphors and other figures of speech, like any kind of magic, must be used with great care, discretion and skill. These things are not for the novice. Rather, they are for the novice to practice in his or her drafts, then to polish with the lessons learned either from critique or rejection. The skillful use of figurative language is one mark of an experienced writer. And how does one gain experience - practice.

       Don't worry, I won't throw you out into the figurative water without some sort of metaphorical rope to pull you out if you start drowning. See the checklist at the end of this article.

       Now, let's get our feet wet. While images such as locked eyes, flaming cheeks, rosebud lips, et cetera may seem highly original to a beginning author, even a well-read beginning author, believe me, they are not. Most of those metaphors were old when Shakespeare wrote. Coming up with a truly unique metaphor especially for human body parts and interactions is extremely difficult. It happens, but not every day. And when it does happen, the metaphor often sticks out like the proverbial sore opposing digit. So get comfortable with the idea that your beautiful new words may be old hat and find a critique partner well read enough to spot hackneyed phrases and trite images.

       Let's leave originality for figures--no, not numbers, but figures of speech. The ancients--Cicero comes to mind--had entire lists of various patterns or figures of speech that could be used to dress up a story. In fact they labeled the style of writing that employs these figures as "decorated." If a speech or story was composed with few or no figures, the style was labeled "plain." So know what you are using in your writing. A professional always knows his or her tools thoroughly. Just to get you started, take a look at simile and metaphor, specifically animation and personification. If you want to know more, any of the texts on rhetoric edited by James J. Murphy are good sources of information.

       Metaphor is a figure of speech in which a thing is given qualities that it is either logically or inherently incapable of possessing. A classic example of simple metaphor is, "The butterfly bloomed into flight." Now you and I both know that butterflies don't bloom and flowers don't fly. But the imagery of the metaphor is striking and memorable. However, too much metaphor, or an over used (read trite and remember what we said earlier about originality) metaphor will sour your writing faster than leaving milk out in 100 degree heat.

       That "milky" comment, just in case you didn't spot it, was a simile, which requires comparative language words in the group "such, as, similar, like, than, more, less" et cetera.

       Unlike simile, which is a whole different critter than metaphor, personification and animation are actually variant forms of metaphor. Personification gives a thing human (person-like) qualities. Examples: "The dog grinned," "The stones spoke." Animation gives movement, or qualities of movement, to items that could not normally move or move in a certain fashion. Examples: "The flowers took flight," "The sea raised its mighty fist." That last example was both animation and personification combined. If all this metaphorical staff is so creative and actually makes storytelling vivid and interesting, why do editors and critiques frown on it so much? Part of the problem is overuse or lack of originality, but we've already covered that.

       A second part of the problem with imagery in modern popular fiction is misuse. Misuse is closely tied to overuse, but it is not exactly the same thing. One of the most common varieties of misused imagery is the mixed metaphor. Example: "When he was younger, his only reason for dating was to get past first base and score a touchdown." Even though the meaning is clear, the metaphor is mixed. One does not score touchdowns and pass first base in the same kind of game.

       Sometimes imagery is just plain inappropriate, especially when you want to speed up the action. It takes time for readers to follow the image, especially in metaphor. Therefore, any image rich passage will read more slowly. "A quick, fast read" is almost an axiom in today's publishing industry, and for observable reasons. Would you want to read a book advertised or reviewed as "lush and slow"? Probably not. So when editors see a metaphor-laden manuscript, even if the metaphors are "fresh" and "imaginative," the tendency is to reject the manuscript. Critique groups, even if they don't always understand the reasons, will almost always zero in on them and tell you to toss them.

       Many readers and editors lack the willingness to read figuratively. Too many readers interpret "locked eyes" literally--which is not what the author intended. The literal reading leads to a mental picture that is just too funny to ignore. Then, the reader laughs and is "taken out of the story." This is deadly, because as an author, you risk having the reader refuse to return.

        For the most part, experienced authors will avoid using figurative language in association with human bodies and interactions, reserving the images for emotions and observations, sparingly and with care, like spices. Readers love to feast on figuratively rich stories. So please use all the flavors of imagery available and make your stories truly memorable. One last word of warning, learn to cook first.

Checklist for using imagery or figurative speech: